my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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