White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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