His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im holly from the hills drunk
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize