i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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