Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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