if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
