My hand turned me down
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
