Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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