K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The best revenge is premature balding
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
