I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
