On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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