i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
