If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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