I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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