she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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