brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude i'm inner monologue high
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
