I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize