im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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