dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize