let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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