My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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