And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
