Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
