Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
