peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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