my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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