The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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