That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
