PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
