is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
