Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
