so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
