Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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