Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
