I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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