did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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