I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
