He is such a slut. More and more my type.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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