Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
