Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i love accidental penises.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
