yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
