the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
