Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
