I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
