I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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