How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
