I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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