IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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