he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
