he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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