Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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