pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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