So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
