I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
