I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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