Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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