glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
