Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
