I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
