no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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