so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
