i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
